New job causes me to wonder about Lailah’s toys…

A lot of you have seen my various videos of Lailah, mostly in the breakfast nook, but sometimes in the living room. During those LR videos, I’ve tried not to show the area where all of her toys are kept. It’s under a 3′ by 6′ table where on top, I’ve kept the beginnings of my model railroad “layout”.

(The model railroad has its own story and that’s not the purpose of this essay (other than to say, I moved it from the garage into the house two years ago, thinking I would finally have the time and/or make the time to work on it during my hiatus – that clearly didn’t happen). Someday, I’ll share its history, it’s own story with you.)

No, this particular story is about Lailah, and her toys under that table. As I was saying, there have been times when you’ve probably seen the couch, or love seat, or her brightly colored castle tent. But, I’ve kept the video camera away from that table, not showing the toys I’ve gotten her over these past four years. The toys she and I play with when she is over my place, babysitting her GranPaBrian.

There are the two train sets, one wooden (driven by the little hands of a two or three year old little girl), and one plastic that uses batteries to move (that would sing to Lailah: “I’m a train…watch me go around…”)

There’s the Chess set – the one that looks exactly like the one my dad had when I was a teenager. She and I liked pretending to play Chess together.

There is the Princess Sofia’s Palace and all of Sofia’s princess friends. She used to play with Sofia and that Palace for hours each time she was over.

There are the Disney fairies (Tinker Bell, Silvermist, Periwinkle, and Iridessa) and characters like Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel and Belle.

There are the magnet clothes manikins of Elsa, and Minnie, and the various magnet outfits for Queen/Princess. And, we would play “dress-up” with them.

The duplo set of animals (cat, dog, giraffe, and snake).

Then there are the “educational” things we got for her, various sets of “alphabet letter” cards, the “matching” cards (pictures of apples, bikes, cats, etc. to match), sets of domino cards (Minnie, and Frozen). Wood blocks spelling out three and four letter words, with a colorful picture of the word (Sun, Bird, Fish).

Finally, there is the Candyland game which we started playing these last six months or so (she cheats!).

It dawned on me an hour ago, She won’t be babysitting me any longer like She did these past two years.

You see, my having a full time job now, is going to seriously get in the way of being able to spend entire days with her, playing with these toys just mentioned, or playing with the toys she has in the kitchen hook area: the plastic buckets of all sorts of play-doh colors, the plastic jars of paint, the spin-art turntable.

It’s just dawned on me this morning, as I’m gathering up some work related items such as my briefcase, some manuals, new notebooks/pads, that my two years as a “in-home” babysitter is about to end.

And, that’s ok.

(No, not really.)

She’s growing up now, and she’s been “moving on” these last few months, leaving some toys behind, and getting enamored with other ones such as her various new dolls. She has a bunch from me, and I’m guessing a bunch of other ones from her parents, or her aunt Kelli, her Granny Lynn, or her GranMaRose. She’s rapidly moving into loving her dolls, and learning a little bit about playing by herself.

As I look around my living room, and see all of these things, I realize how special I’ve had it these last two years, being able to be with her more than I could have, if I had stayed at USPS, sitting in a 6×10 cube, staring at a computer screen for eight hours a day.

I am so glad I made that decision to quit my job two years ago. I quit for a variety of reasons, none of which had anything to do with babysitting Lailah – but, it turned out it was exactly the right decision for me.

I would not trade these last two years for anything. I was pretty fortunate to be able to do this at this point in my life. Who gets to play with a little girl all day long, when you are working full time? No, it wasn’t every day, but, I can tell you this: I truly looked forward to the next time I would be seeing her, during those days she was babysitting other people.

So, back to the toy storage area under the table, in the LR.

It’s been sitting there now for the past year or so (before that, it was in the SunPorch room). I’ve become used to the clutter. So, I hadn’t planned on moving any of it. But, like I said, a couple of hours ago, I realized, it’s time to put all (or most) of those toys into the garage.

I know my time with her isn’t coming to an end. It’s just going to be different. I’ll perhaps, be seeing her more on the weekends (I hope), and we’ll be spending that time outdoors at the park, or going to places such as museums, fairs, taking her out for breakfast or maybe a dinner, or ball games, etc.

Looking at this table here in the living room – a part of me wants to leave it where it is. It’s not hurting anything by leaving it there. But, I also know it’s now causing my heart to ache – knowing she is growing up, and moving on, going to day-care and pre-school, learning gymnastics.

These past two to four years truly opened my eyes toward the wonderment of children.

I look forward to the next four years with her, even though I know they will be vastly different.

(anyone want a toy train set?)